“I am still and always will be the little girl craving the scoop and enclosure of my mother’s arms.” - Lira Kellerman
Do these artists claim their songs are about their mother wounds? Sorry. No juicy gossip about Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift here. Can you hear the lived experiences of my mother wound counseling clients throughout these lyrics? Absolutely yes.
If you’re just figuring out you have the mother wound or you’re currently in the process of healing your mother wound—and if you find music as healing as I do—then this blog post is for you. In it I’m including songs that my counseling clients have described to me as being valuable in their healing journeys and also songs that I relied on back when I was trying to recover from my own mother wound. For each song I’m also pulling up the individual lyrics that have really spoken to people as they do the work of healing from their moms.
And, hey! Let me know what you think about this one. If you find music and/or this post helpful to your process, I have mother wound playlists for days that I’d be super happy to share with you in future blog posts.
Drumroll please!
(get it? drumroll because music? 😅)
1. “King of Anything” by Sara Bareilles
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Who died and made my mom in charge?” then this classic by Sarah Barielles was made for you. Who knew it was so much more than just another break up song?
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“So many things I’d say if only I were able”
“You sound so innocent, all full of good intent, swear you know best”
“I’m not the one who’s lost”
“You got the talkin’ down, just not the listening”
2. "Take a Bow” by Rihanna
Is your abusive mom so good at putting on a show that other people have a hard time believing you? Or does your mom know how to say all the right things, but her actions say otherwise? This song by Rihanna might just be the healing balm you’ve been needing.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“And don’t tell me you’re sorry ‘cause you’re not”
“But it’s over now. Go on and take a bow”
“And the award for the best liar goes to you”
3. “According to You” by Orianthi
My mom in 2007: You’re always upset, and you’re awful to be around.
My husband then and now: You’re so damn fun to be around, and you light up my world.
If you have a mom who’s confused that you’d rather be with the people who love you while all she could do was hate you, I think you’ll like this one by Orianthi as much as I do.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“According to you I’m difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind”
“He’s into me for everything I’m not according to you”
“Why can’t you see me through his eyes?”
4. “Gaslighter” by The Chicks
I tried to write about this say it like it is anthem, but ended up dancing to it twice before I could get started. So.dang.good. This classic from The Chicks comes to you from my personal mother wound playlist. I thought about sending the lyrics to my mom, but like the song says, gaslighters lie the very best to themselves.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“I believed in the promises you made to me”
“I’m your mirror standing right here”
“Couldn’t take take yourself on a road a little higher”
“Tried to say I’m crazy”
“Save your tired stories for your new someone else”
5. “Misunderstood” by Russ
When your mom is committed to misunderstanding you, there’s nothing you can do. Nothing you can do besides put on this brutally honest song by Russ and nod along knowing you aren’t alone.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“You only see pieces that fit your view of me”
“Your mind is made up. Misunderstood time after time”
“Don’t tell me you know me when you don’t”
“I’m tired of over explaining myself when you don’t wanna get it”
6. “closure” by Taylor Swift
If you’re new to healing the mother wound, this number by Taylor Swift might not be relatable for you YET. Tuck this one away for whenever you need some hope along your journey. And remember: Healing the mother wound IS possible. And yes, you can get to the point where you don’t need closure from your mom because you’ve learned how to give it to yourself.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“Seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain”
“Don’t treat me like some situation that needs to be handled”
“Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me”
7. “Anything But Me” by MUNA
Asking to be treated with respect by your mom isn’t the same thing as thinking you’re above everyone else. Still, abusive moms tend to confuse their adult children’s healthy relationship standards for selfishness. If that reminds you of your mom, remember it’s not your job to get her to understand this. Maybe just text her this jingle by MUNA instead.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“You’re gonna say I asked for the moon. I think that it’s you with your head in the sky”
“‘Cause I don’t wanna stick around trying to work it out when everything feels wrong”
“But I would rather lose you than who I’m meant to be”
8. “People You Know” by Selena Gomez
Did younger you think of your mom as your best friend before everything happened? Or maybe your relationship with your mom went from good to gone? If you can relate to either of these then this track from Selena Gomez might really speak to you.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“These days we couldn’t be farther”
“I never know when enough is enough”
9. “Million Reasons” by Lady Gaga
Those of us with dysfunctional relationships with our mothers know all too well what it is to stay and stay and stay. We stay not because we should, but because our inner child is still hoping mom will finally be the mom we always needed her to be. If you’re in the “Should I stay or should I go?” phase of your journey, this ballad by Lady Gaga might be just what the doc ordered.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“I try to make the worse seem better”
“I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby I just need one good one to stay”
“Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith”
“Can’t you give me what I’m needin’, needin’?”
10. “You” by Shoffy
The unfortunate truth is that there's dysfunctional moms who care more about looking like good mothers than they care about actually being good mothers. These moms are about keeping up appearances and meeting their own needs way more than they care about their children. If any of this sounds familiar and you're looking for some music therapy, check out this one by Shoffy.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“The only thing that you liked was hearing you were right”
“It was never about figuring it out”
“You just wanted attention”
11. “F**k Your Labels” by Carlie Hanson
If you grew up with a mom who thought it was okay to call you names like “lazy,” “stupid,” or “brat” or to cast doubt on your truth with labels like “BDP,” “crazy,” or “personality disordered” then you’re going to want to listen to this tune by Carlie Hanson.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“You just want to put all of us in a box”
“I left…everything, everything so ungrateful”
“And when I’m up, when I’m high, you’ll be calling”
12. “Mama's Broken Heart” by Miranda Lambert
What matters more to your mom? How you feel or how you look? Superficial moms are also emotionally abusive moms, and while I don’t know Miranda’s personal story, the lyrics of this one could have come verbatim from several of my mother wound clients.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“My mama came from a softer generation when you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face”
“Gotta keep it together even when you fall apart”
“Run and hide your crazy, and start acting like a lady”
13. “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez
There are some moms who are all about keeping their promises. Then there are the moms who make promises not because they intend to keep them, but because they want to use them to manipulate you into giving them what they want. This ballad by Selena Gomez is for you if you have experience with the second.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“Rose-colored glasses all distorted”
“I needed to lose you to find me”
“I needed to lose you to love me”
“I gave my all and they all know it”
14. "July” by Noah Cyrus
While every mother wound is different, my work has taught me that the feeling of never being enough is almost universal amongst mother wound survivors. If you can relate to this, I hope you’ll find this one by Noah Cyrus to be worth a listen. And remember: If you’ve gotten the message that you’re never good enough for your mom, this is because she still isn’t good enough for herself. The truth is you are enough right now, and you’ve always been enough. If your mom can’t see this, that’s about her, not you.
More relatable mother wound lyrics in this one:
“I’ve done a lot of things wrong, loving you being one, but I can’t move on”
“If you want me to leave then tell me to leave”
Are you someone who wants to take your mother wound healing journey to the next level? Come join the conversation, learn more about the mother wound, and receive compassionate support in our now 100% free private mother wound healing community over in The Porch. Interested in keeping up with the latest Mother Wound Project news? Follow us on Instagram.
